Ångest/ Anguish (Pär Lagerkvist)

"Anguish, anguish is my inheritance
The wound in my throat, my heart's plea to the world"
//Ångest, ångest är min arvedel. Min strupes sår, mitt hjärtas skri i världen//

This is probably the most famous prose (a short quote from the prose) in Sweden, or at least the most spoken of.
The author speaks of anguish, anxiety, as his only inheritance, the only thing that is controlling him and will be left of him when he's gone. It was publised in 1916, therefore many have interpreted the prose as a parallel to the first world war. In that context, we can understand just why the author wrote about such  horrible and paralysing feelings as anguish, anxiety and fear, especially of death.

But me myself can't help but wonder if death is really something to be afraid of. Death itself isn't that bad, one second you exist, next second you don't. Well, atleast your soul does not, or your consciousness or blood flow or whatever you call life does not. Without a word, you disappear, fade away, your body rottens and the memory of you will dissolve and eventually disappear.
What I'm afraid of is the feeling. Not the reason behind it, but the feeling itself. Anxiety. Anguish. Fear. What do those words mean to you? You get tense, breathing gets heavier, and maybe they give you some shivers.

Im afraid of fear. I'm afraid of anguish. Of losing control. Of getting hurt. Many people are. Does that make us weak? No, let me tell you what makes you weak. What makes you weak is trying to shut those feelings out. Caving in for them, and for yourself really. They are a part of you, a few electrical impulses from your brain through your nerves, hormones running through your blood, it is only your brain telling you to be afraid.

Don't shut them out. That does not make you cool. That does not make you worth of pity. That dos not give you the right to hurt other people because you feel that you're in control of your own feelings, because you feel nothing.

Embrace them. That's what makes you strong. It's hard, it's so very hard and paralysing. But embrace them, feel them, live them. Only like that you can control them and eventually crush them, making them fade away instead of yourself.

"Pain demands to be felt" - My fav. quote from The Fault in our Stars